I went to the farmer's market in Victoria Gardens last Friday. I tried to buy some gluten-free bakery goods at one of the stands. "We only sell good tasting bread here," the man said. Well, I would eat 'good tasting bread' if it didn't kill me.
It is true, that I have yet to find any good tasting gluten-free bread. They are all brick heavy and unpalatable. Perhaps, part of that problem is also, the no dairy and no soy issue. It makes it tough to find bakery products made with NO ingredients.
Yet, every single day, I see recipes of all these delicious foods I can never eat. Cheesy garlic bread and gooey drippy pizza. Sweet sugary caramel rolls and cream cheese taco dips. I really miss cheese! All these things from a world I am not part of anymore.
In my freezer, I have some raspberry sorbet. Milk free, of course. My fridge has some coconut milk 'yogurt', which is as bad as it sounds, olive oil 'butter' and almond milk. Yes, I am leading an alternative lifestyle. Sunflower seed butter now replaces my peanut butter and my flours are now rice, tapioca and potato.
And, even though I really loved 'just plain milk' and all of its delightfully delicious benefits, like ice cream and yogurt, I was biologically made for a relationship with almond milk. We have our own little place in the dairy section. And just to make you jealous, it doesn't even need to be refrigerated before opening. Plus, Almond Dream praline crunch ice cream is to die for.
When I go out to eat, I do get special treatment at some places. Like Blaze Pizza always changes gloves and makes my gluten-free crust on a separate surface away from their regular pizza line. Blaze Pizza is like Subway; they make your pizza to order as you walk along.
People get so annoyed at me when I slow the line down. Never mind the 'dying' with gluten part. You would think I wanted my own Gluten-free Parade, the way they suffer through the extra 30 seconds it takes to make my crust.
It reminds me of how upset some parents get that they can't send peanuts to school, anymore. Or any homemade treat, for that matter. The fact that another family's child may die seems completely irrelevant to the wants of some people.
"I have always sent my favorite homemade peanut buttery Scotch-a-roo bars, before, and if I can't now, it just isn't fair to our Jimmy Joe, cuz they're his favorite."
As I rage against this unfair world, where the gluten, dairy, soy tolerant people control my destiny, I will continue my quest for some 'tasty' gluten-free bakery products. Right now, I am comfortable with my ability to remain in anonymous obscurity, most of the time.
I just hope there will never come a time, when I will have to wear a tiny loaf of bread badge, stitched up with 'Gluten-Free', on my jacket, for all of the world to see.
Peace out, everyone.
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