Carve a pumpkin, build a snowman

This week has been one of ups and downs. Great joy and lots of unhappiness. In amongst all of the voting and counting and waiting and waiting and waiting, I had yet another doctor's appointment.

After surgery the end of July and a short hospital stay in September, which I can't really talk about, because I can't remember most of it, I can seriously say I need a social life beyond doctor's offices and medical labs.

During all of the counting and chaos, I found out I have a tumor in my right kidney. In addition to the Angiomyolipoma tumor, there is also a cyst in the right kidney, as well. There is another spot on my left kidney which is hopefully a kidney stone. Fingers crossed. It is six month into this Chronic Kidney Disease diagnosis, and I have no idea if this is all cause or effect.

Angiomyolipoma are tumours consisting of perivascular epithelioid cells (cells which are found surrounding blood vessels and which resemble epithelial cells). A tumour of this kind is known as a PEComa, from the initials of perivascular epithelioid cell.

With more tests and full abdomen scans to be scheduled in the next few weeks, surgery will not happen until after the new year. If this is the only tumor they find, sized somewhere between a pea and a peanut, we will just chalk this up to 2020 being a really sucky year. And, 2021 has to be a better year for surgery after all of the twists and turns and ups and downs of this crazy year.

Off to weekly doctor appointment to prove life 

goes on even during these crazy election days.

Thankfully, healthcare is not suddenly going to be taken away from people with pre-existing conditions.

Hug your dog, your kids. Build a snowman. Bake some cookies. Do something nice for your neighbors...all of them.

Red, brown, yellow, black and white.♪

Because, what the world needs now is love, sweet love ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

It's the only thing that there's just too little of ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬

I believe in God's unconditional love. UNCONDITIONAL!

I believe in his omnipotent power to create ALL things including the heavens and the earth.

All religions. All identities, Science and math.

The ability to choose right and wrong.

Compassion, empathy and again, LOVE.

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CKD

It has not been the greatest couple of weeks. 

Now that a finally have a diagnosis of Chronic Kidney Disease, I don't know if I am relieved or terrified. Looking at the list of available foods and cross referencing it with allergy foods doesn't leave a lot of options left. 

Especially, if you cross those lists with the food list for GERD. Looks like I am pretty much left with cardboard and cabbage. 

I did however, find this BMI chart with a much more reasonable body fat ratio than thread thin, spaghetti, stick thin, obese.

When I look in a mirror, I don't see a 'fat' person, and EVERY other chart says overweight. This one says acceptable. I am fine with acceptable.

Activity level	Male body type	Female body type
Athletes	6–13%	14–20%
Fit non-athletes	14–17%	21–24%
Acceptable	18–25%	25–31%
Overweight	26–37%	32–41%
Obesity	38% or more	42% or more

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/323446#body-fat

Symptoms Mayo Clinic

Signs and symptoms of chronic kidney disease develop over time if kidney damage progresses slowly. Signs and symptoms of kidney disease may include:

• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Loss of appetite
• Fatigue and weakness
• Sleep problems
• Changes in how much you urinate
• Decreased mental sharpness!!
• Muscle twitches and cramps
• Swelling of feet and ankles
• Persistent itching
• Chest pain, if fluid builds up around the lining of the heart
• Shortness of breath, if fluid builds up in the lungs
• High blood pressure (hypertension) that's difficult to control

OMG! This has been my whole f%@&ing life for

 the past several years while father keeps telling everyone that I am either faking or just 'dizzy'!

It is mentally and physically exasperating and exhausting to have to prove to the people in your life that you are sick. 

Now, with a battery of tests scheduled, I can get some real answers. Then, I will be meeting with a urologist specialist. Perhaps, after that I will finally have a chance to feel better for the first time in forever. At the very least, it may slow this progression that has left me bedridden almost constantly since March,

Until then, I can look up some new recipes. White bread, white rice, NO avocados. Sigh. Bland days ahead.

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